I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
