I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
