i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
