I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
