I faked an abortion last night.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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