Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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