He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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