wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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