This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
