doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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