I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Drake has all the answers
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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