i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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