I need help removing her.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
