her vagine was all disorganized.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
