I've blown a few things in my day
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
