Can Purell be used as lube?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
