In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
