After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
