Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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