Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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