You smell like stripper and shame
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
