So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
