I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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