no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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