hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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