So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
