I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
so much tequila, so little girl.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
