I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
