this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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