Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
