He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
