new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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