When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
