when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
