Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
