i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
