Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
