I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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