Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
