she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
