i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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