So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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