Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
In other news, I just burned my penis
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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