I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
