the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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