i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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