I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I could fuck to npr.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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