I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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