make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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