he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
