she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dear god my vagina.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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