He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
